Things We Hate: Fat Jew Edition

This fashion week has taught us far more about ourselves than we ever expected. We relearned why we love The Blonds and why we hate being thirsty — we’re still not sure how we feel about guy makeup sessions. But for the final verdict on what’s worth hating, we asked The Fat Jew, the one man who may actually have tried everything.

Behold his list of things to hate:

"Superfoods," New York Fashion Week ruining my Instagram feed with horrendous amateur runway photography, white people with dreadlocks, mixing unexpected prints (plaid and leopard do not work together, I don’t care what anyone is saying,) having to wear pants, parties without pizza, Burning Man, that latest season of Arrested Development, me not being rich enough to own a boat and ride a horse onto it and then push the horse into the ocean for no reason except that I’M SO RICH AND CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT, Daft Punk, not owning a TV because you like to read (BORINGGGG), people talking about stuff other than me… the list goes on and on and on.

But I’ll pick just one.

The worst thing in the world right now is… chefs with tons of tattoos. The culinary tattoo phenomenon is out of control, it seems like at this point getting a sleeve tattoo with a butcher knife, the Morton salt girl, a piece of bacon and a whisk is a pre-requisite for graduating culinary school. I hate it so much. I liked when the prototype chef was a middle-aged French dude with a shitty attitude who hated Americans and cared about nothing but the smell of fresh produce and passionate sex. A tattoo sleeve used to mean you were a badass biker who would kill someone in cold blood, but these days it means you’re a chef who makes a lovely pork belly with a balsamic drizzle. – Fat Jew

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