Welcome To Sundance 2014

We have successfully moved into our cabin in Park City, Utah, where we will spend the next ten days trudging through the snow as we make our way toward film premieres inside old libraries and refurbished cathedrals. Yes, The Sundance Film Festival 2014 is officially upon us and we couldn’t be more psyched. Sure, the weather might leave us shaking in our Moon Boots and people might drive worse than stoners trying find their way out of the parking lot of a Phish concert, but it’s well worth it for the possibility of getting to see celebrities slip and fall on the ice.

In celebration of Sundance (and because we are bored waiting for our photographer as he tries to dig his car out of a snowbank) we’ve decided to impart some of the knowledge that we learned over our last two years as press at Sundance. Here’s a list of five tips that everyone with a press pass should know before they arrive to the festival.

Trust us folks… this ain’t our first rodeo.

Tip 1: If you wanna throw a good party, bring alcohol. If you wanna throw an AMAZING party, bring bootylicious bounce girls!

Last year Milk and Myspace set up base camp inside of The Claim Jumper and help to throw a few afternoon soirees right in the heart of downtown Park City. Things got out of hand when we brought out two dancers from New Orleans that specialized in making their booties bounce like a bad check. All of Main Street came to a grinding holt as innocent bystanders stopped to snap shots of the girls dancing in the windows of the club. All the commotion caught the attention of Lil’ Jon and as he and his entourage (no joke… Adrian Grenier was there too) made their way into the club, everyone thought the floor was about to cave in. We guarantee that Utah hasn’t seen a party like that since Donnie Osmond turned twenty-one.

Tip 2: Bring a flask! Utah’s got a ton of weird liquor laws. Their cocktails taste like candy and their beer tastes like someone put ice in it and let all the ice melt. Seriously, even at an event with an open bar it was a tough to get tipsy (except for at the Burton party where they served us all Smore Shots until we were to drunk to snowboard). Plus, having our Best Made flask in our back pocket is going to make sitting through some of the more “artistic films” a helluva lot easier.

Tip 3: Bring some tissues ya big baby.

Wanna know how to get the critics to pay attention to your low budget indie film? Make ‘em cry their eyes out! Never have we felt so many emotions (sober) as we did inside the crowded theaters of many Sundance movie premieres. The bigger the tear jerker, the bigger your chances for success.

See Also: Beasts of the Southern Wild

Trust us, after attending the premieres of films like Very Good Girls, Hello, I Must Be Going and Mike Abu’s personal favorite I Am Not A Hipster, we can safely say that nothing sucks worse than venturing back into the cold winter weather with a buncha tears freezing to your face.

Tip 4: Don’t let Mike Abu interview pretty girls.

Mike Abu seemed pretty calm and collected when we walked into the hotel room of Rilo Kiley front woman Jenny Lewis’ hotel room to interview her about her role as the composer and music supervisor for the film Very Good Girls. But after Mike shook his heartthrob’s hand and introduced himself, shit went down hill fast.

Low Point: When Mike Abu left his notes he had written down in the bathroom of her hotel room and was too embarrassed to go and grab them.

High Point: Watching a visibly twitterpated Mike Abu try and form sentences and have a heart to heart with Jenny, all while struggling to not sound like an adorably nervous super-fan.

Awkward Point: When Mike Abu started singing one of Jenny’s songs to her in the middle of the interview.

Jenny returns to Sundance this year as the music supervisor for the film Song One, we’re excited to see if she’ll give us a second date.

Tip 5: Sundance is for friends.

A couple years ago we asked artist, director and all around weirdo Alex Pardee to give us a run down of his experience hanging with his hubby, photographer Chloe Rice, at the Sundance Film Festival. he brought us back an honestly awesome run down of all things horrific, as he recounted his few days playing in the snow and watching independent horror flicks with his gang of monsters from ZeroFriends.

There’s the five most important tips that we are willing to give you. We could have taught you how to obtain free tickets to the films or where to find free parking while everyone else is paying $20 or getting towed, but we figure that there are some treasures better left undiscovered. Stay tuned to Milk Made all week long as we review films, interview celebrities and nurse our hangovers from the top of the mountain slopes.

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