Apple Rejects Female Masturbation App

In a not so surprising move, Apple has rejected to sell an app called HappyPlayTime because, you know, vaginas, etc. The premise of the app was to educate women on how to masturbate, which is a noble and heroic mission to let the ladies know that your pleasure matters too! Seriously, Apple must be run by some old prudes who think that all the evils of the world come from the thing that they love the most. It’s like they think masturbating will make all women into man-hating feminists #thehorror! Anyway, after sending a passively-polite rejection email to the app designer Tina Gong that had as a send off line “Do not reply to this email”, Gong called to further investigate the reasons of rejection, only to be directly told the problem is content. Yup, here are the “crimes” of HappyPlayTime:

16.1 Apps that present excessively objectionable or crude content will be rejected
and the really good one

18.1 Apps containing pornographic material, defined by Webster’s Dictionary as "explicit descriptions or displays of sexual organs or activities intended to stimulate erotic rather than aesthetic or emotional feelings", will be rejected

Meanwhile in the realm of the App Store you can download apps like Sports Illustrated Swimsuit 2014 which catalogues models in tiny bikinis frolicking around. But hey, the activity that leads from looking at those pictures simulates “emotional feelings” not erotic, duh! The app was created off of a crowd-fund of women who felt the stigma to female masturbation needs to be rectified, and while the HappyPlayTime vagina pet will not see the light of your phone’s day yet, who knows, hopefully one day we can all enjoy some play time.

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