The Best Butts of 2014
In a year that saw unprecedented changes and the opening of new discourse in gender equality, everything somehow became contextualized and symbolized by one of our most basic assets (pun very intended)—the butt. Asses transcended all walks of life this year, surrounding us with their luscious appeal and jiggling here there and everywhere from the never-ending barrage of twerking. To celebrate the Year of the Bum, we’ve sifted through our fondest rear end memories and come up with the Best Butts of 2014.
If you have a nice butt, you should feel blessed. If you have a nice butt that gets draped in Swarovski crystals, then you should feel extra blessed because that means you’re Rihanna. Serving up full on Great Gatsby realness, Bad Girl RiRi was dripping in splendor as she owned every bit of this year’s CFDA Awards. But the star of the ensemble was, of course, her magnificent bum, a well rounded addition to an already breathtaking example of flawless beauty.
4. Neil Patrick Harris
SPOILERS: Theatergoers who walked in to see David Fincher’s masterfully tense Gone Girl this fall were in for some pretty unexpected surprises. First and foremost was some full frontal Ben Affleck, but just as surprising was seeing Neil Patrick Harris’ bum in a jock strap. Sure the sex scene it was highlighted in didn’t end so well for him, but those brief glimpses of ass were more of a treat than most anything else we saw in a movie this year. Who knew he was hiding something so shapely?
3. Nick Jonas
The stigma against body hair in today’s notions of beauty, in both men and women, is a little astounding given the now widespread acceptance of facial hair. Nick Jonas, while embarking upon his new image as a solo artist, has moved mountains in the public view of body hair, all from a simple patch of hair blushing out from his perfectly shaped cheeks. His muscular back is just as eye catching, but it’s the simplicity and hairiness of his rear that became one of the most captivating images of male beauty all year.
2. Kim Kardashian
Internet, consider yourself broken. Kim Kardashian, with the help of Paper Magazine, seemed to descend from ass heaven this year, grinning with pride as she put her oiled up rump on display for the whole world to cry with envy. And she got exactly what she asked for; a veritable frenzy that made headlines around the world. But given it’s sudden appearance, we’re still left with so many questions. How is her waist so small? How does Kanye feel about all this? Where can we get a butt like that?
1. Nicki Minaj
A little bare skin and a lot of booty shaking, with a heavy sprinkling of 90’s hip hop sampling magic, resulted in Nicki Minaj’s most ubiquitous hit yet-this was the year of the Anaconda. The now infamous music video has Nicki’s supple rear gyrating and shaking through jungles, yoga classes, and even Drake’s lap, but we obsessed first and most lovingly on the first image she released: the single cover. Crouching down low in her sneakers and baring all right to the camera, Nicki thrust her ass into the forefront of our conscious, and in so doing made an indelible mark on pop culture. It’s fair to say that she got buns hun, and she made a platinum record to make sure we wouldn’t forget it.