Oscars 2015 Recap: So Much WTF

Meryl: 'YES! Go women! Wait, who are you again?'
Well NPH, we're glad you have great pecs, maybe next time work more on the jokes
The number of feels that Terrence Howard is having is causing a system meltdown
Dame Julie, meet Lady Gaga, your latest pupil.
Getting handsy is one thing, this is something else entirely

Ahhhh the Oscars. The granddaddy of all the award shows, the end all be all of celebrities being beautiful and participating in all sorts of strange behavior that would normally be reserved for quiet moments off-camera. Naturally, we like to watch the Oscars for the latter part. And in a year where the ceremony itself was even more lackluster than usual, the moments that made us literally say ‘what the f*ck’ were without a doubt the highlights of the entire evening. So without any further introduction, because we had an exhaustive amount of that last night, here is our Oscars Recap: WTF Edition.

5. JLo is Somehow Still at the Oscars, and Looks More Flawless than Everyone

One of the bigger mysteries of the evening, and of Oscar evenings in the past, is why in the hell Jennifer Lopez is there. And by there we mean sitting in the front row right next to Meryl Streep there. JLo has never even been nominated for an Oscar, nor did she appear in a single film that was one of the nominees this year, but there she was amongst the elite of Hollywood royalty. But what really makes this so intriguingly hilarious is the fact that JLo keeps looking more flawless than anyone else in the audience. We’re seriously starting to wonder if she is a sorceress of some kind because no one who is 45 years old looks so stunning. Guess we’ll see her again next year no matter what her film career is like.

4. Neil Patrick Harris Stuns Us in His Underwear

After slaying the Tony’s for the past several years, expectations were beyond high for the NPH to take the Academy Awards stage. While he may not have had the best jokes or the most legen-wait for it-dary hosting skills, there were indeed a few moments where his hapless charm shone through, perhaps evidenced best in his homage to the night’s big winner, Birdman. In a recreation of one of the film’s funniest scenes, Harris stripped down to his tightie-whities for a lap around the stage. Though it didn’t induce a laugh riot, it certainly had us reflecting on the fact that we were seeing every bit of Neil Patrick Harris, from head to bulge. Kudos for doing that on national TV, that takes balls.

3. Terrence Howard Has a Lot of Feelings about the Best Picture Nominees

It’s easy to lose track of specific presenters in the stable of Hollywood stars that are shuffled about to present the assortment of Oscar trophies over the evening, but Terrence Howard cemented himself in our memories as a presenter to be reckoned with. Charged with the simple task of presenting three of the night’s eight Best Picture nominees, Howard seemed to be feeling the weight of the world with each adjective. Taking luxuriously awkward pauses between each word and nearly kicking his mic stand down, the most logical thing we could think of is that Terrence took one tab too many before the show started. Essential quote: “I’m blown away myself…right now.” Okay Terrence, just hurry up and pass it to the left.

2. Lady Gaga Saves the Entire Show

We had heard well in advance that Lady Gaga would be performing at the Oscars. ‘That’s cool,’ we thought, ‘she’ll bring her distinctive Gaga realness to the show, nothing too fancy or unexpected there.’ So when her name was called in the same breath as ‘A 50th Anniversary Tribute to the Sound of Music,’ we were actually a little taken aback. The diva behind ‘Poker Face’ would be channeling Julie Andrews? And channel her she did, as most surprisingly of all, Lady Gaga crushed. Her. Game. Mother Monster tore the ceremony to shreds, championing the entire telecast with her superb delivery of those high notes in ‘The Hills Are Alive.’ Even Julie Andrews herself came out afterward to praise what a phenomenal performance of her trademark songs that was. Gaga singlehandedly saved the show, can we hire her for any other events?

1. John Travolta Like to Touch Faces With His Hands

In a scenario of unrelenting irony, John Travolta took to the Oscar stage to make amends for last year’s name fumble that swept across the Internet like wildfire, only to generate yet another horribly bizarre meme-ready appearance during this year’s show. After Idina Menzel jokingly introduced him onstage as ‘Galom Gazingo,’ a way to definitively close the case on last year’s Travolta fail, he came out and started playing pat-a-cake all over her face. Using Menzel’s chin as an anchor, Travolta has fully ascended into the ‘drunk uncle at holiday party’ level of creeper. Maybe next year they’ll ask him back again, a good chin grab never hurt one’s viewership.

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