Seinfeld Talks Donut Holes and Grindr at Vulture Fest

This past Saturday at Vulture and New York Magazine’s second annual Vulture Festival here at Milk Studios, comedian and creator of the cult classic bestiality-themed anti-capitalist Bee Movie, Jerry Seinfeld, sat down with Vulture editor Jesse David Fox to discuss the upcoming third season of his surprise hit web series, Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee. Oh, and he also discussed that little show he did called Seinfeld, which was recently picked up for syndication by Hulu.

Among the scattered cups of free coffee and packed room of eager fans, Milk Made’s Chris Thomas was on hand to drink cold brew from a milk carton and learn as much as he could about the man who is famous for creating not one, but two shows about nothing. Here are his top five discoveries.

Home Improvement ruined Jerry Seinfeld’s hopes and dreams.

Once upon a time, a claymation episode of Seinfeld was planned but cancelled because Tim Allen had already done claymation on his show Home Improvement. “We had Kramer taking a pencil and sticking it in his eye,” he said among gasps from the audience, ”We were going to shoot fake promos, and everybody was going to think a regular episode was going to come on, and it was going to be all claymation.” Although the news is soul crushing, the takeaway here is that Tim Allen is not to be trusted and is probably the devil incarnate.

He is aware of the existence of Grindr—and loves it.

Upon being shown an image of a fake Grindr profile created using his Bee Movie character Barry B. Benson, he quickly stated that he “loves Grindr.” It should be noted that he also stated that he will not go on Grindr so for everyone out there who is suddenly in a riveting conversation with Jerry Seinfeld, back away slowly. It’s a trap.

There is a goldmine of comedic potential when discussing donut holes.

When asked about his creative process for doing standup, he revealed that he writes extensively and works on jokes for months. After explaining that he is a very literal person, he revealed his next comedic venture: donut holes. “If they were really donut holes, the bag would be empty,” he explained to the crowd as their entire donut-hole perspective of life shifted dramatically.

The act of getting coffee is far more important than actually drinking coffee.

Although he likes getting coffee just as much as coffee itself, there is something special about the act of going to get the coffee. “I love that it’s a thing—that you go and get it. Nobody says hey you want to go get lemonade. Everyone likes lemonade it’s just not fun to go get it,” he explained. There is definitely magic in going to a coffee shop and willingly talking with someone for two hours while sipping on liquid, however, somewhere, lemonade enthusiast Meetup groups are writing furious blog posts about feeling slighted by Jerry Seinfeld. Perhaps lemonade dates will become the counterculture trend of the summer.

The magic of Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee is that it isn’t on TV.

After calling out talk show interviews as being “a pain in the ass,” he explained how simple it is to do the show. After all, it is literally just a show about getting coffee for two hours. After bouncing the idea for the show around his comedian friends and digital marketing executives, he realized the magic of the show is that it’s on the Internet rather than on television. Upon being asked about what he would do if NBC wanted to put it on their network, he explained: “There’s a nice…that it’s not part of that. I think that’s part of the appeal. I really believe in the Internet as an entertainment medium.”

Check out the full talk at Vulture.

Photos courtesy of Craig Barritt/Getty Images for New York Magazine.

The first episode of season six of Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee premiered last night. New episodes will launch every Wednesday.

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