5 Cult Classics in Serious Need of a TV Revival

This is not 'nam, this is television. There are no rules.
We literally couldn't have said it better Lindsay. BTW, why are you white?
Pass the joint. We're ready to binge watch all our favorite high school stoners.
It's just a jump to the left...and fantasies of Tim Curry on the small screen.
He's sexy, he's cool, he's got an attitude. Who really cares that he's a vampire?

It’s 2015 and television as we know it can never die. Cult favorites long left to obscurity are being resurrected with a vengeance. Arrested Development? You got it. Twin Peaks? Absolutely. But this year has unbelievably seen the transition of feature length films into full-fledged, bingeable series. The 90’s masterpiece Scream is now coming to MTV, and most of the known world spent their weekend reliving the comedy gold of Wet Hot American Summer in it’s shiny new Netflix makeover. Inspired by the infinite range of possibilities, the Milk office sat and daydreamed about the films that would be best served by a television reboot. Here are our picks for 5 Cult Classics in Serious Need of a TV Revival.

The Big Lebowski

Despite having everything from nihilist kidnappers, vaginal art, porn stars, oriental rugs, and of course, bowling, The Big Lebowski often leaves viewers a little empty handed by the film’s end. It’s become something of a trademark for the Coen Brothers to finish their films not with a conclusion but with an abrupt stop, so naturally the need for more of the Dude’s stoned misadventures is beyond real. An entire series would allow for a plethora of new mysteries for the Dude and company to solve: what happened to all those Creedence Clearwater Revival cassettes? Where the hell is his checkbook? Finding out who pissed on his rug is just the beginning.

Mean Girls

Aside from washing away the sins of that recent ‘sequel,’ Mean Girls: The TV Show would finally be the kickstart that puts Lindsay Lohan back onto the map. Not to mention achieve every one of our hopes and dreams. Tina Fey is a bona fide master of the episode format, erasing any doubt that the trials of the plastics would make for anything but phenomenal television. Though picking up right where the original film left off would be enticing, we think that a prequel may be the smarter option. What’s a ‘Mean Girls’ without a Regina George? Throw in Amy Poehler as the return of the ‘cool Mom’ and you’ve got yourself an Emmy.

Dazed and Confused

If any director lends himself to the medium of television, it’s Richard Linklater. The man has built a name for himself with films that are solely built around people talking and just…chilling, man. Well it doesn’t get more chill than Dazed and Confused, the slice of life film depicting the last day of school for a bunch of hard partying, angst riddled, stoner teens in 1976. But transforming his debut feature into a binge-watchable treat would make for the grooviest episodic version of high school this side of That 70’s Show. Bringing back original cast members like Ben Affleck, Matthew McConaughey and Milla Jovovich, is obviously golden, but they’ll somehow have to find a way to subtly depict chain-smoking joints. Whatever, you just gotta keep livin’ man.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show

Now presenting: The Rocky Horror Television Spectacular! A 12 episode exclusive with Netflix that follows Dr. Frank-N-Furter’s resurrection and punishment by intergalactic transsexuals for the crimes against humanity committed in the first film. Did Brad and Janet finally escape the clutches of musical theater?! Did Rocky find true love?! While there are absolutely no plans to turn this fever dream into a reality, that doesn’t mean we don’t shiver with antici….pation at the thought of it. Needless to say, we’re not interested unless Tim Curry is coming back.

The Lost Boys

Because obviously we need more than a two hour film when it comes to sexy vampire biker boys who raise hell in the suburbs of Southern California…literally. Edward Cullen has nothing on the mullet-wearing, denim-rocking heartthrobs of the original film (we’re looking at you Kiefer Sutherland and Jason Patric. It’s high time that the world knows how a true pretty vampire parties. The 80’s cult glory of the original film is almost too much to handle at once; a whole series following the forever misunderstood teens would be the perfect measured dosing of utterly cheesy, suspensefully gory, and relentlessly sexual. We’re ready to get bitten.

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