We're so excited for the Purple One's memoir.



5 Insane Prince Antics That You'll Want to Read About In His Memoir

When you think of music legends that keep their lives more private than private, those who always carry an air of mystery and intrigue around their work, ones whose life events and incidents cause a flurry of speculation and theoretical thinking, there is one artist who consistently comes to mind: Prince.

The mystical being and King of Funk has drove our minds bizarro for decades with his incredible antics, evolutions in sound and looks, and the shroud of privacy that surrounds it all—not to mention his iconic hits.

The same ecstatic face we’ll make when we read this book.

Prince neither talks about his work nor comments on reports of his infamous actions and quirks. It’s the ghosts of Prince’s past, a.k.a. previous collaborators and anonymous sources, that give us the juicy details we not-so-secretly crave. But as early as next fall, all of that may change. Prince sent out an invitation for an event that was held at Avenue and, like Prince himself, was cloaked in mystery. Apparently, Prince emerged in a gold and purple striped pajama style suit and told the crowd, “The good people of Random House have made me an offer I can’t refuse!” It’s his first memoir and will be co-written with Paris Review critic Dan Piepenbring for fall 2017. “It’s going to be called The Beautiful Ones,” Prince allegedly told the crowd. “You all still read books, right?”

According to a press release, the book will “take readers on an unconventional and poetic journey through his life and creative work.” Frankly, that statement could mean absolutely anything and anything at all. So in an attempt to wrap our heads around what a Prince memoir might look like, we collected the five most amazing and wackiest Prince moments that will hopefully be covered in the book. Pay attention; we know you haven’t sent in that final manuscript yet.

Come on a journey with Prince…

The Time Prince Recalled A New Album Just Days Before Its Release. 

Prince was on a roll in 1988. Well, he’s always been on a roll, but the late ’80s were an especially great time. Which made his decision to withdraw and shelve The Black Album right before its slated release date all the more bewildering. Theories about the motivation behind his decision abound, but the most widely speculated theory is that Prince decided to pull the record after a bad ecstasy trip. Apparently, former associates of his have confirmed the story. Prince, care to expand?

Probably not.

The Time Prince Prince-ified A Rental Home. 

If you rent out your mansion to Prince, you should expect at least a little decorative refurbishing. Yet NBA player Carlos Boozer anticipated no such thing when he rented out his house to Prince. During an interview with ESPN Radio, Boozer’s teammate Jay Williams went into more detail, saying that “Prince changed the front gate to the Prince sign … changed the master bedroom to a hair salon … changed the streaming blue waters that led to the front door to purple water,” among other things. Which begs the question: how much does it cost to hire Prince as an interior decorator?

Please buy us furniture. And lick it.

The Time Prince Brutally Shaded Michael Jackson’s Ping Pong Skills. 

In a revealing feature, Prince’s former sound engineer David Z told a story about a ping pong game between the King of Funk and the King of Pop. “Michael drops his paddle and holds his hands up in front of his face so the ball won’t hit him. Michael walks out with his bodyguard, and Prince starts strutting around like a rooster. ‘Did you see that? He played like Helen Keller.’” Everyone please applaud the Prince of low-blow shade. The two legends seemed to have a very competitive relationship, something that would be fascinating for Prince to expand on.

Masterful shade.

The Time Prince Virtually Isolated Himself From His Wife. 

God bless any woman who is confident and secure enough to marry Prince. Not like we wouldn’t if we got the chance. In the kind of juicy interview that we shamefully soak up, ex-wife Mayte Garcia revealed many intimate details about their unconventional marriage, including the fact that she was never allowed to call him on the phone. “I had to wait for him to call me,” she stated, “I’ve no idea why, he never actually said.” She also revealed that their Spain home had its own hair salon—and she was not allowed to use it. Prince, are you interested in getting revenge and spilling some more secrets?

Being married to Prince is an… intriguing experience.

The Time Prince One-Upped Dave Chapelle In The Most Incredible Way. 

You remember when comedian Dave Chapelle did the perfect impersonation of Prince playing basketball during a sketch on Chapelle’s Show in 2004? Of course you do. It set the benchmark for celebrity impressions. While we don’t know the artist’s exact feelings on the sketch, it’s something he needs to talk about in the memoir. He also needs to explain this:

This is the actual cover for Prince's single. What a legend.
This is the actual cover for Prince’s single. What a legend.

Lead image by Kathryn Chadason. Additional images via Billboard, Tumblr.

Stay tuned to Milk for more in upcoming memoirs. 

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