5 People Whose Quotes Actually Deserve to Be On T-Shirts
There’s no denying the power of a quote-emblazoned tee. It’s just what this “power” entails that tends to vacillate from person to person. Fran Lebowitz, for instance, found these types of clothing to be powerfully unnerving. “While clothes with pictures and/or writing on them are not entirely an invention of the modern age, they are an unpleasant indication of the general state of things. The particular general state of things that I am referring to is the general state of things that encourages people to express themselves through their clothing,” she once wrote. “Frankly, I for one would not be unhappy if most people expressed themselves by marching en masse into the nearest large body of water but, barring that, I wish they would at least stop attempting to tell all by word of jacket. I mean, be realistic. If people don’t want to listen to you, what makes you think they want to hear from your sweater?”
And while she does make a good point, this isn’t always the case. Choose the right quote, and such a tee could be powerfully endearing—if not downright moving. Supreme’s latest t-shirt drop that takes its cues from William S. Burroughs is a case in point; they bear various quotes by the illustrious novelist/satirist/wandering heroin addict, and—well, they’re long since sold out. Below, we’ve rounded up five other people whose words need to be worn across someone’s chest stat.
1. Chrissy Teigen (and John Legend)
Together they’re pretty much Twitter’s first couple—shoutout to this epic takedown of Piers Morgan—but to tell you the truth, we’re really just here for Chrissy. After all, this is the woman who’s asked the hard sartorial questions we’ve all been wondering about but were too afraid to ask.
drop crotch pants are never low on me. does this mean I have a dropped crotch
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) October 22, 2015
She’s the woman who wasn’t afraid to take down her husband in front of 2.55 million followers (what Grammy award?)…
@johnlegend settle down, you're okay at it
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) August 31, 2016
…and who may or may not have caused blender anarchy on Twitter. If that last point wasn’t enough to convince you of the power of words—and of her words in particular—then maybe this little goodie she tweeted on Friday will: “I want a president who will be like um no I will not pay more for guacamole mister.” Don’t we all.
2. Katja Blichfeld and Ben Sinclair
You might not know their names, but you probably know their work: High Maintenance, the brilliant, almost creepily on point web-series-turned-legit-network-show (the next season will debut on HBO later this month). Sure, it’s a weed dealer—aka The Guy—who ties the series together as he goes from home to home, but really it’s all about examining the absurd neuroses of every New Yorker—or anyone, really, because you never know what’s going on next door. The show has an impeccable cast, thanks to Blichfield (who used to work for 30 Rock), and is largely based off an improvised script, so it’s a ripe mining field for deadpan quotes that encapsulate the increasingly nonsensical zeitgeist that is life in 2016. High (we couldn’t resist) on our favorites list: “That girl’s homeless, man” (Heidi), “The only chucklefuck I can fuck” (Jonathan), and “Did you let the weed guy see you dressed like that?” (Rachel). Also yes, we did.
3. Anna Kendrick
Meet the queen of self-deprecation, who’s also very good at Twitter—and in case you had any doubt, her bio pretty much says it all: “Pale, awkward and very very small. Form an orderly queue, gents.” The Pitch Perfect actress may have been nominated for a Tony award at the age of 12 and hit the Billboard 100 with a song involving cups as percussion, but Kendrick definitely wants us to know that she, too, is down-to-earth…
I'm so humble it's crazy. I'm like the Kanye West of humility.
— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) November 4, 2014
…gets confused sometimes…
"So I'm talking to the, uh, what are they called? Pill Baristas?"
— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) May 12, 2013
…and expects her country to give back (“So, there’s NO existing service that rents puppies to people with hangovers? America, you have failed me,” she once tweeted—and in doing so, brought up a very good point). In short, we can definitely relate.
4. Jaden Smith
If you think that someone who can’t legally enter a bar (we said legally) doesn’t have anything to say, think again: at just 18 years old, Will and Jada Smith’s son has already racked up plenty of life experience. The guy started his own streetwear label, MSFTS; time traveled for The Get Down; and has even been proclaimed dead twice this year alone. All of which is to say: his words of wisdom should be heeded, and maybe even screen printed onto a shirt. Some examples:
If A Cup Cake Falls From A Tree How Far Away Will It Be From Down. #Jupiter
— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) August 29, 2014
I Don't Want You Guys To Think Because I Was Born In America That I Speak And Abide By English Grammar. I Speak Jaden, Indefinitely.
— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) November 3, 2014
Jaden, we are 100 percent with you. And hope to soon be wearing you.
5. The people behind Buzzfeed Scotland
Think TFW you hit 6pm and you haven’t achieved anything all day—delivered in a no-bullshit burr that proves Scotland is a parallel universe of mountains, lake monsters, and sardonic humor. While we do think “your mom” sounds better in Scots (“yer maw”), and thus might be a tad biased, it’s Buzfeed Scotland’s descriptions of Donald Trump— ranging from a simple, minimalist “tit” to the more expressive “toupéd fucktrumpet” or “weaselheaded fucknugget”—that especially deserve some special graphic treatment.
Images via Buzzfeed and by Paul Kwiatkowski.
Stay tuned to Milk for more clothes that might not exist, but should.