5 Presidential Playlists To Get You Through The Weekend
As I’m sure you’re already aware (because what news could be more important than this?), President Obama released his second annual summer playlist today, featuring the likes of Nas, Courtney Barnett, Prince, Miles Davis, and more. We all know that in the 21st century you are only what you listen to, so this playlist provides a rare opportunity to get a glimpse into the life of the world’s most public/private individual. For example, that Obama included “Home” by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes reveals not just a penchant for questionable indie folk, but the possibility of his being a closet hippy. Interesting. Personally, we would’ve pegged him more as an indietronica hipster.
Been waiting to drop this: summer playlist, the encore. What's everybody listening to? pic.twitter.com/mqh1YVrycj
— President Obama (@POTUS) August 11, 2016
In any case, President Obama’s sick tunes got us thinking about what other presidents would listen to today. As speculative journalism is all the rage these days, we’ve provided you with a few prospective songs, which were based mostly off what little we know of each president’s personality, achievements, and scandals while in office.
George W. Bush
We’re not making any excuses—Dubya’s probably the easiest pick of the bunch, but we couldn’t resist. Given his Texan temperament, we foresee much country music in his future/on his iPod. After all, songs of this genre are the only suitable soundtracks for painting bathtub and shower selfies.
- “Life Is A Highway,” Rascal Flatts – Not only do we suspect Cars of being Bush’s favorite movie, we also suspect that he watches it at least twice a month, when he’s not painting bathtub and shower selfies (it bears repeating). We’re sure the song’s emotional lyrics resonate with him deeply.
- “All Star,” Smash Mouth – If he opts for something more uplifting, it’s probably this 1999 banger. With all the crap people can dish out, sometimes you just need to tell yourself, “Hey now, I am an all star.”
- “Battle Hymn of the Republic” – This isn’t even speculation: Bush was seen dancing to this little ditty at a memorial service for police officers killed in Dallas, earlier this summer. What can we say? They don’t make dance music like they used to.
In our opinion, Bill Clinton seems like a top 40 guy. We also assume he has an intense appreciation for classic rock, given his “Heartbreak Hotel” performance on Arsenio Hall in 1992. He should break out his sax again to cover some of the following:
- “Like A Prayer,” Madonna – Madonna’s famous anthem takes on sex and religion with plenty of innuendo. Perhaps Clinton could’ve taken a page or two from Madonna’s book before his famous “I did not have sexual relations with that woman.” Would’ve been much more convincing if he had said they were just praying.
- “Red Balloon,” Charli XCX – It recently came to light that former President Clinton harbors an intense love for… balloons. Can we make a request? Can someone please overlay the DNC balloon video with this song, and sprinkle in some slow motion? Please?! We think that should be the official video.
- “Don’t Stop,” Fleetwood Mac – Clinton’s campaign theme and more fodder for Monica Lewinsky jokes that we’ll let you come up with on your own.
Nixon was notoriously private, so it’s hard to get a sense of his music taste. However, it doesn’t take Sherlock Holmes to figure out what types of messages he’d look for in his music.
- “Every Breath You Take,” The Police – Sting wrote this song about his divorce from Frances Tomelty, however the big brother aspect just works so well as the theme for the Watergate Scandal.
- “The Stranger,” Billy Joel – “Well, we all have a face that we hide away forever” begins Joel’s song. The perfect ode for the president who once said, “Even with close friends, I don’t believe in letting your hair down, confiding this and that and the other thing.”
- “Paranoid,” Black Sabbath – Self-explanatory.
Drumpf is not (and hopefully will never be) President, but given that the quality of the man has already made clear his taste in music, we thought we might offer a few more songs that are definitely on his “Hatemongering” playlist.
- “Wonderwall,” Oasis – Because he wants to build “the wall.” Get it? And because he’s a potato, like Noel Gallagher. Get it?
- “Sweet Home Alabama,” Lynyrd Skynyrd – Skynyrd used to hang Confederate flags on stage, and while Drumpf is from New York, he sure as hell would do anything to appeal to the reactionaries and racists that make up the majority of his voters.
- “Ice Ice Baby,” Vanilla Ice – The whitest rap for the whitest man.
Image via Epic Times.
Stay tuned to Milk for more presidential playlists.