5 Things From The Nineties That Still Haunt Us Today
Remember when you forgot, or pretended to forget, to return rental movies back when Blockbuster was a thing, but then they all virtually burned down so it didn’t matter anyway? Well turns out, if you’re one such person who never returned a VHS, you might not be entirely off the hook.
Last week, one James Meyers was arrested for failing to return a VHS from 2002. That’s right, 2002—the year Kelly Clarkson won the first American Idol contest. The scene of the crime, J&J’s Video in Sailsbury, closed, like most VHS stores, about the time of Blockbuster’s demise. The contraband of interest? The 2001 comedy Freddy Got Fingered starring Tom Green. Meyers was dropping his daughter off at school when he got pulled over for a dim tail-light. The officer found the arrest warrant for the movie rental, and Meyers was put in handcuffs at the police department that day. “I thought they were joking,” Meyers said of the incident. We still think they’re joking, but the warrant says otherwise.
This got us thinking about things from the nineties that still follow us around today—or else have risen from the dead for the sole purpose of infiltrating our nightmares.
Heinous Tattoo Choker Necklaces
Tattoo choker necklaces have made a slow comeback in the past couple years, and now they’re back in full force. The lung-constricting necklaces have gone from the necks of your favorite models, to the racks at every fast fashion clothing store imaginable. And frankly, we weren’t really missing them at all. They worked on Melissa Joan Hart and the Olsen twins back in the day—and, while we love Willow Smith in any style choker, the tattoo choker necklace is the type of trend that’s better off buried, along with Clarissa Explains It All.
TV Shows That Ended 20 Years Ago
Don’t you just miss our precious ’90s TV shows so much? Well, you shouldn’t–because they’re all still here. Or at least rising as mummies from the dead. Fuller House already invaded your Netflix queue and The X-Files reboot proved to be a success. Now the world is anticipating reboots of cult classics like Coach and Twin Peaks, as well as our favorite childhood cartoons like Hey Arnold! and The Powerpuff Girls. Even The Magic School Bus is returning. Note to media execs: not everything needs to come back.
People, please stop. There is no good reason why Birkenstocks are now considered chic. Sure, they may be more comfortable than your formal dress shoes or those fab stilettos, but that is why cute sneakers exist. No matter how fashion houses like Céline or trendsetting Instagrammers try to style Birkenstocks for optimal greatness, they still look like oversized leather straps and clunky corkscrews made for your feet. Your feet have already suffered enough with that Crocs phase you went through in 2008. Don’t put them through more.
Devious Political Families
Putting Obama aside, hasn’t it felt like we’ve had the same two Presidents for the past two decades? That’s because it’s virtually true. We had Bush in the early ’90s, Clinton in the late ’90s, and Bush again in the early 2000s. And they’re still fighting to make our country Bushland or Clintontopia. Little Jeb Bush tried and failed to make an impact during his campaign for the Republican nomination, and if Hillary wins this year, we’re just one step closer to become citizens of Clinton Nation all over again. We’re with her! Kinda.
The Inimitable O.J. Simpson
Even though he’s been locked in a cell for what feels like forever, it seems like O.J. will never leave public consciousness. You would think an infamous convicted criminal would only be remembered in “where are they now?” scenarios, but instead, his story has been relived countless times. The sudden and colossal fame of the Kardashians brought his murder trial to the forefront again. Now with the addictive new show The People v. O.J. Simpson taking hold of the country, it seems that O.J.’s stardom has nine lives, just like our felines.
Lead gif by Kathryn Chadason.
Stay tuned to Milk for more trends that refuse to die.