Deliciously inappropriate.

World

5.16.2017

Adult XXX Food Porn Cereal Now Exists

The image of the childhood of any good 90’s kid isn’t complete without a generous helping of cereal (eaten, of course, in a matching short and tee pajama set alongside Saturday morning cartoons). Well, get ready for a serious (and seriously inappropriate) throwback: the folks behind Cereal Motel, a London-based startup, recently released a line of “deliciously inappropriate” adult cereals, and we’ve got all sorts of nostalgic feels.

The new line of naughty adult cereals—all of which are said to be inspired by pop culture, music, film, art, and fashion—are a parody of cereal brands from childhood, and each even comes with a cereal box prize. Score. Those seeking to teeter the line of nostalgia and adult humor while satisfying a sweet tooth in one fell swoop can find all the naughty nibbles here. For the full selection of cereals, see below.

Booty Pops“Booty Pops” is a Corn Pops-style nod to Kim Kardashian’s Paper Magazine cover that broke the internet in 2014. But in this version, our cereal covergirl is dressed as Cat Woman with a dark and dramatic cherry-hued lip. Inspiration from the fall/winter beauty trends, perhaps?

Vice KrispiesLooking back at our childhood cereal-eating years, we never would’ve thought of puffed rice as our inner vice, but “Vice Krispies” is giving us mixed XXX vibes. “Vice Krispies”, a mashup of Cocoa Krispies and the Thomas Pynchon novel and Paul Thomas Anderson movie Inherent Vice, features a neon blonde rocking blue lids and a red lip. Do as our pin-up girl suggests and eat your new vice out of a martini glass. This, after all, is what adulting is all about.

Porn Flakes“Porn Flakes” features a sultry woodland creature swimming in classic Corn Flakes and what may or may not be milk. She’s giving us all kinds of fairy feels with her sultry eye makeup and Bambi lashes. We have to agree with the folks at Cereal Motel when they say, “Porn Flakes are everything you would expect from a 70’s classic remastered.”

Sugar TitsThe covergirl of “Sugar Tits” Corn Flakes pulled a Lil’ Kim with her boob-baring pasties and seashell-adorned hair. The 1999 iconic MTV moment has inspired many (including Nicki Minaj), and now, our Tony the Tiger replacement. Perhaps it’s time for Tony the Tiger to retire, anyway.

Images via Cereal Motel

Stay tuned to Milk for more cutting-edge breakfast options.

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