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Badass Nuns Dole Out Advice And Weed Treats

Ask any of those nuns at your strait-laced Catholic alma mater, and they’ll tell it like it is: they joined the church because they received a call. A call to service. A call to help those around them attain peace. But while some chose to find their religion when their hotlines blinged with the call to aid, others answered a little differently. Filled with the need to help others in a unique and effective way, Sister Kate and Sister Darcy don’t spend their days clutching crosses. They help others from the sanctuary of their own home, where they grow weed in the garage and dole out advice through emails.

Needless to say, the Sisters of the Valley aren’t your typical ruler-and-rosary wielding sisters. The members, currently a two person crew (three if you include Sister Kate’s youngest son, who lives with them and assists in the day-to-day chores), spend their time creating cannabis-based solvents and filling out orders for their Etsy store. They’re based out of sunny Merced, California, where they cook their special medicines out of crock-pots in the kitchen and assist any and all who come to their door—and where frightening new laws threaten their way of life. Thanks to the dubiously titled “Medical Marijuana Safety and Regulation Act” instated in California last year, cities are able to place bans and restrictions on weed businesses, no matter how legit they might be. By March 1st, 2016, cities will be required to enact these restrictions, or else face a fine. It comes as terrifying news for those like the sisters, whose business is based on genuine care and empathy, and is not some money-making scheme.

Chillest nuns ever.

Lawmakers claim that this was a mistake, a simple error in the bill’s wording. We say that they deserve to be punished the good ol’ Catholic way.

Just like that.

The sisters are caught up in an explosive political movement. But if you’re wondering why the church and its vast clergy of fun-hating, party-pooping priests hasn’t put a stop to this, the answer is simple. These nuns aren’t really “nuns” at all, but actually ordinary women with a calling all their own. It’s no secret that neither Sister Kate nor Sister Darcy are actual, church endorsed “sisters;” their practices, which include timing their harvests to the cycles of the moon and infusing good intention into their items through prayer, put them more in line with your new age, crystal wearing English teachers than any Catholic conservative you know. But they still took up the habit. Sister Kate first donned it as a way to protest the decision to classify pizza as a vegetable (“If pizza was a vegetable, I was a nun,” Sister Kate told the Guardian in an interview. ) Already a fixture of Occupy protests everywhere, she was quickly dubbed “Sister Occupy” by fellow protesters. But this sort of tongue-in-cheek decision quickly became something more as people began to flock to her for advice. They sought guidance from her. They sought healing. And Sister Kate, so moved by their troubles, deeply wanted to help them.

This mindset is the driving force behind Sisters of the Valley. Their “Bible Time” doesn’t consist of the usual sit-and-pray, but of answering emails and doling out advice. Taking too long to respond is considered a terrible offense, as noted by Sister Darcy, who first formed the order with Sister Kate after being connected through a mutual friend. With such an earnest and sincere mindset driving them, it’s no wonder that the women find the act so deplorable. The two have already begun to fight back, promising nonstop campaigns until a more reasonable solution is reached. And the sisters aren’t alone either; between the hopeful new sisters in New Jersey and Washington, and their fellow weed growers in Cali, this isn’t a movement that will be dying down any time soon. 

Stay tuned to Milk for more drugs.

Main image by Kathryn Chadason. Additional images via Sisters of CBD, Activist Post, Canna Chronicle.

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