Being a Teenage Stoner Didn't Make You Dumb, Tobacco Did
If you spent most your high school experience in a dazed haze, with a head full of questions and hands sticky with marijuana crumbs and some… other things, we’re here to congratulate you. According to a new study published in the Journal of Psychopharmacology, all that dank kush you blazed doesn’t make you less intelligent—only the marijuana leaf socks you insist on wearing can do that.
The study looked at the effects of marijuana and tobacco smoke on teenagers, and measured exactly how dumb you get with all that smoke in your lungs. Despite occasionally causing you to stare at light bulbs for four hours or draw elaborately bad pot leaves, that skunky smoke isn’t going to hold you back. Tobacco, meanwhile, is just as bad for you as you thought it was so set the vape down, bruh.
According to the results, respondents who admitted to smoking the sticky icky more than fifty times (amateurs) had IQ and educational performance levels no different to those who had never smoked. As it turns out, tobacco users fare far worse. Research demonstrated a “robust associations between cigarette use and educational outcomes, even with cannabis users excluded.” That’s good news for teenagers prone to puff puff passing the joint around—especially in Colorado. The mountain state, now notorious for the $70 million boom in revenue it made in the first year of legalization, has seen an explosion in teen pot use.
National teen pot use dropped four percent in the last two years, while in Colorado it rose twenty percent in the same period. That puts the state’s youth rate at a psychedelic 74% higher than the national average. If you’re high right now and reading numbers is hard to follow, all you need to know is that teens in Colorado smoke a lot of weed.
No word yet on if album sales for Snoop Dogg have also skyrocketed, but judging by the packaging for his marijuana collection, it seems like the best thing to go with Snoop’s weed is more Snoop. We do warn you, though, that long-term side effects of teen marijuana use still aren’t clear. They may include more enjoyable bike rides, less migraines, 2AM trips to Taco Bell, alarmingly good sex, and an almost spiritual appreciation for all your favorite music. Blaze responsibly.
Stay tuned to Milk for more dank.