Death To Contouring: Future Beauty Trend Predictions
Earlier this week, makeup mogul Bobbi Brown spoke to the New York Post about what beauty trends she believed needed to die. Number one on her list? Contouring—the practice of using different dark shades to “sculpt” the face and make it sharper, a makeup technique created by drag queens and popularized by the Kardashian klan. “It looks like dirt,” she said definitively.
While contouring might be the most aggressively practiced (and mis-practiced) approach makeup, it certainly is neither the first nor the last. And as beauty trends seem to be getting stranger and stranger, we thought it apt to compile a list of some of our predictions.
Stick lights in your face
In response to excessive contouring, there emerged another, more relaxed trend–strobing, which consists of highlighting one’s best features by literally highlighting them with a shimmery powder or cream (it was named for MAC’s legendary Strobe Cream). Strobing is a good way of looking fresh and dewy, but however good it may look, strobing takes some effort. Why not save some time in the morning, and get LED implants in your face? They’re pretty bright, so you may never be able to sleep again, but at least you’ll never have to worry about dark circles under your eyes.
Grow a unibrow
Brooke Shields, Ali Michael and Cara Delevingne serve thick eyebrows for the gods, leading to an unstoppable craze. Eyebrows are everywhere, both trend-wise, and on people’s faces. It seems only logical that the next phase be to let one’s eyebrows go bigger, wilder. We’re talking Frida Kahlo, we’re talking Bert from Sesame Street. This trend is great because of its versatility. You can grow your chic “monobrow” (as it will be called) thick and luxurious, or you can run with it in the opposite direction and draw it thin on with a Maybelline eyeliner pencil, à la John Waters.
Remove your front teeth
This trend combines two of the beauty industry’s favorite things—gap teeth and cultural appropriation. Often referred to as the “Cape Flats Smile,” knocking out your front choppers has long been a trend amongst South African youth, often in poorer communities. So if you weren’t born with a perfect gap in between your incisors like Lindsey Wixson, you can always have them removed!
Look really, really old
It sounds counterintuitive, we know. But “older is wiser,” as the commercials will say. Silver hair is already hugely popular (Rihanna did do it, after all) and so we wouldn’t be surprised if we saw the next generation of celebs rocking a walker and temporary tattooed spider veins. The best part about this trend is how easy it is to DIY—sure, you could drop 50 bucks on a fancy pro-wrinkle cream, but the stress of just thinking about all of these new products you have to buy will age you a hundred years!
Images via the Guardian, Motherboard, Sesame Street, Tumblr