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Gender Diaries: Love Bailey

As the world continues to push against gender constructs, the conversation around how people are identifying themselves is constantly evolving. Each week, MILK.XYZ will feature a guest editor writing about their specific relationship with gender and, often, where it intersects with fashion. This week, we feature performer, director, and co-creator of New York City’s queer cabaret Slather Factory, Love Bailey. 

I once had a friend who told me I would never be a woman because I can’t give birth.

To that I replied, “My dear, I think you should broaden your horizons.”

If we subscribe to these standards of gender, we are bound by our bodies and cannot evolve.

Is it possible for a woman to not be able to conceive a child but still be considered a woman?

Or just because a man has a 1 inch penis does that make him less of a man?

Could it be that we are meant for greater things beyond the realm of our physical form?

For those men or woman that still feel that I will never be a woman. Let it be known that I’m a “TRANS” Woman, I’m my own creation.

Everyone has their own journey, their own story.

I’m not here to try to become something I’m not. I love the body I was given, I am not ashamed of my shenis. My body is my canvas to make my fantasies a reality.

I am not here to make you comfortable or to conform to any society standards of femininity.

Passable isn’t a word I identify with because I’m living out loud, dancing to my own heartbeat.

I define what makes me feel like a woman, because I am an empowered creature of love.

If I want to identify as a “Scarlet Witch” one moment or a “Butch Queen” the next, I can choose whatever gender makes me happy.

In a world where the president tells us Trans are a burden to society, it is our duty to express ourselves and rise up against discrimination.

The very act of dressing up, living your best self is an act of resistance. For some of us don’t have that privilege.

Personally I’d like to think we are all in transition, just like the butterfly, cocooning and evolving, growing and changing.

Remember this; the word Revolution the root (Revolt) means “to revolve, roll back.”

Do we want to keep making the same mistakes over and over again or do we want to evolve, grow, question, change, and inspire?

We must transform these archaic ideals society passed down from generations. Ideals of masculinity and femininity that keep us stuck on this wheel, not allowing us to see each other for our truths.

If you are cis gender or hetero, respect our pronouns, learn them, understand them, don’t assume, treat us with love and compassion.

If you are trans or gender non conforming, don’t let others ignorance affect you. Live beyond these pronouns, and discover what defines your character and what feeds your soul.

If wearing lipstick makes you feel fishy, do it! If driving a motorcycle makes you feel masc, do it! But if driving a tractor makes you feel fishy and wearing a wig makes you feel masc, then…

Oh baby! Call me ;)

Images courtesy of Kellen Houde; makeup by Pat McGrath Labs; clothing by Gypsy Sport; shoes by Jeffrey Campbell 

Stay tuned to Milk for more Gender Diaries and see our previous installments here.

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