Gender Diaries: Regan de Loggans
As the world continues to push against gender constructs, the conversation around how people are identifying themselves is constantly evolving. Each week, MILK.XYZ will feature a guest editor writing about their specific relationship with gender and, often, where it intersects with fashion. This week, we feature artist & activist Regan de Loggans.
My biggest struggle with gender is viewing gender via the colonial construct of gender. I’ve been socialized as a womxn, understood as a womxn, and conceptualized as a womxn.
But that’s inherently based in a construct I cannot abide by, because it’s impossible to divorce gender from colonization.
So I can’t be a womxn. Colonialism wants womxn to be abused as well as abusive, subservient, distrusted, specialized, sexualized, disturbed, and in the end, silenced. And I cannot be that womxn. So within the colonial purview, I’m nonbinary. I’m a nonbinary hard femme, I carry my anger, beauty, darkness, and distrust on my sleeve.
But I’m native. And as a 2spirit native womxn, the expectation is different. I am revered, honored, understood, respected, and integral to how my nation, tribe, clan, and community function. Under native constructs, my gender, my sexuality, my kinks, my body, my mind, and my soul are understood, accepted, and loved. My community loves my performance, they understand my anger, and they honor my distrust of the colonial world. They love my queer womxnhood.
I cannot be a native womxn confined in colonial gender constructs, I refuse to be that womxn.
You are on Indian land. You constrict my gender and pack it away as nonbinary because you could NEVER understand the freeness and power of being a NaTive womxn. You do not deserve to know my womxnhood. So you will know me as a discomfort, an enigma.
I am ostracized in my OWN LAND, so I will decolonize you with my gender.
I cast you out.
Stay tuned to Milk for more Gender Diaries and see our previous installments here.