How to Be a Millionaire: Stop Eating Avocado Toast
This just in—the key to owning a home in your lifetime, according to Australian millionaire and luxury development mogul, Tim Gurner, is to stop freaking going to brunch. Screech. On a talk show on Sunday, Gurner threw mad shade at his entire generation, claiming “When I was trying to buy my first home I wasn’t buying smashed avocados for 19 bucks and four coffees at $4 each.” But wait, Mr. Gurner, what if the avocados are organic and locally sourced and the espresso beans are ground on site!?
On a more serious note, Gurner also declared that “We are coming to a new reality… a lot of people won’t own a house in their lifetime.” While that claim may be valid, the assertion that our generation’s shortcomings in financial stability are rooted in our affinity for avocado toast and pretty lattes sounds pretty damn clueless. CNN Money has reported a few other culprits that may or may not bare greater responsibility for the improbability of property ownership in the U.S. like 1. It being a tough market due to competition among other millennials and repeat buyers with higher capital, 2. A shortage of starter homes causing a 7% rise in home values due to low supply high demand, and finally, 3. our good friend student debt.
Thankfully and pretty predictably, the masses of millennials have come to the defense of their favorite brunch menu item by way of their favorite form of passive aggression expression, Twitter. Check out a few tweets on the matter below.
Avocado toast: $35,000
Someone good at the economy please help me budget this
— Murtaza Hussain (@MazMHussain) May 15, 2017
Avocado toast contains fiber and cholesterol fighting fats that will help you outlive judgmental millionaires
— Giancarlo Volpe (@Giancarlo_Volpe) May 17, 2017
Everybody on twitter is talking about avocado toast and I’m like “Let’s see what all the fuss is about.” pic.twitter.com/OEK8vFrXNX
— Riley Breckenridge (@rileybreck) May 16, 2017
BRB: Building a house out of avocado toast.
— braden graeber (@hipstermermaid) May 17, 2017
RT if you've never liked avocado toast, but you're still not a millionaire
— Adam Wylde (@AdamWylde) May 16, 2017
Image via The Australian
Stay tuned to Milk for more on invalid financial advice from questionable authorities.