Existential ramblings inspired by one Sex and the City starlet.



Is it Sad That Carrie Bradshaw Makes me Feel Normal?

When it comes to relationships, is it smarter to follow your heart or your head? Do we need drama to make a relationship work? Just how dangerous is an open heart? Is timing everything? Why do we let one thing we don’t have affect all the things we do have? These are some of the questions that keep me lying awake at night next to the one I love. They’ve been the soundtrack to many evenings, with many martinis and a memorable view. In some cases, they have been the ruthless instigator of my routine personal (and indeed, comical) breakdowns.

These questions are the purest example of the sincere complexity of Carrie Bradshaw’s fictional journey, a true protagonist, navigating her way through NYC, relationships, career, and sex… obviously. Her endless bank of active queries are anything but cliché; instead, she’s sitting on a doctrine of musings with a choose-your-own-adventure type scenario posed within every episode. You see, Carrie is a columnist. Her work demands a certain voice, a level of honesty that is more fashionable than any runway or trend could ever be; a voice that is so hungry to feel understood, but even more than that, normal. Now that the internet has reached idol status and simply “liking” something has become more important than actually consuming it, the art of the columnist is becoming what seems to be a nostalgicand, undoubtably, sad—afterthought. You see, the core of a recurring column is that it lands in people’s hands routinely; people who are struggling or contemplating or thinking about love and finances and career and friendships (newsflash: that’s all of us). We all crave those serendipitous moments of connection that need no response or compliment besides the moment of feeling heard or right and sometimes even realizing we are wrong.

Is it sad that Carrie Bradshaw makes me feel normal? That I am doing OK for today and that questioning things or putting pressure on certain areas of my life isn’t wrong, but natural; that regardless of the status of any part of my life, my thoughts and feelings are truly valid. That the most fashion-forward, flip-phone-carrying fictional character in the history of television, is indeed my role model? Fuck.    

The genius that lies in the trajectory of Carrie Bradshaw is her willingness to ask the questions, aloud, that we often harbor in our hearts. So in true Carrie fashion, I leave you with my own question: Are we really gauging our level of success by our capacity and freedom to change? Or, are we just obsessed with the immediate satisfaction of who and what we are “following”?

Featured image via Refinery29

Stay tuned to Milk for more Carrie Bradshaw-inspired musings. 

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