Make Drake Pass Out, Get 'Hotline Bling' to No. 1
2015 has been the Year of the Six, as Drake has been slaying the game with literally everything he does. Besides absolutely destroying any career Meek Mill could have had outside of Nicki Minaj, Drake also put out a song that reminded us all that iPhones actually do have a call feature. ‘Hotline Bling’ has not only become the only song you want to be sad on the beach with, it’s also inspired more than a few amazing covers and so much dope merch. It’s actually shocking to hear that it’s only No. 2 on the Billboard’s chart – but we’re here to change that.
On Instagram, Drake casually mentioned that that the track had reached No. 2, but that if it did reach No. 1, he would “be passed out in the water slide that connects to [his] pool.” What a humble guy! Today, he’s bringing out the big guns to announce a video for the hit. Here’s what we all need to do to get Drake to pass out:
Make an actual hotline that just streams ‘Hotline Bling’
Use that handy little ‘track repeat’ button, and play it forever on an actual toll free number. It’s not only thematically apropo, but it’ll also get that streaming count up. Even if no one else dials those digits (which better be 1-800-HTL-BLNG), I’ll call it – don’t worry.
Make a cover of it
I know it seems unfair to ask when you have competition like Queen Erykah Badu and Disclosure, but just do it! If you make a really bad one, it could go viral and, everyone will miss the original (and also probably make fun of you, but it’s worth it).
Forget that The Weeknd exists, just for this week
Believe me, I get it. He’s the go-to for your sex playlist, but he’s also the only artist beating Drake right now (aside from from that Silento song that all of the little children in your life are obsessed with). I think he’s been at number one for long enough.
Reach out to all your old flames
Follow Papi’s lead and call that old flame on their cell phone… and then tell them to listen to the track. A line like, ‘Girl you got me down, you got me stressed out,’ will probably work just fine. It’ll get more traffic to Six God, and your flame will definitely take the romantic gesture well (probably).
All photos via Drake’s perfect Insta.