Model Jacob Mallinson Bird Tells Us His Most Outrageous FW Stories
Fashion week, while it has the potential to be many things, is never boring. But don’t take it from us—take it from gorgeous model and our friend Jacob Mallinson Bird, who has seen pretty much everything. The Cambridge graduate, who, among his many accolades, has given a TED Talk exploring heteronormative society dressed as his female alter-ego Dinah Lux, shares with us some of his most memorable fashion week moments. From turning an illustrious tinkle sighting to partying with Hedi Slimane, these are the types of stories that fashion week dreams (or nightmares—depending on how you look at it) are made of.
One time we were out during Paris Fashion Week and I was in drag. We’d gone to some party and as we were leaving I was walking up the Champs Elysées with my friends when someone taps me on the shoulder. I turn round and these two guys kicked me straight to the ground and start beating me up. Luckily, my friend Aled, who was 15 at the time, got them off me and got a black eye because of it—my hero. Aled was meant to be walking Saint Laurent the next day and when Hedi Slimane saw him he freaked because of his eye. But, when he found out that Aled had got it protecting me in drag, he loved it, thought it was so rock ‘n’ roll, and called my agency making sure I came to the show and the after party. So there I was, glammed out in a ball gown at the Grand Palais for the after party. It was so much fun and I got maybe way too drunk and then Hedi took this iconic photo of me sprawled across a white van with roses in my mouth. Major.
Another time during NYFW, we went to this party at Le Poisson Rouge and for some reason it was insane to get in—and even when we got inside, it still didn’t really make any sense. Then, suddenly, Lady fucking Gaga got on stage and performed the whole Artpop album way before it was released. I was in little gay boy heaven, I was fucking livinnnnnnnng. Also, I was with all my straight friends who literally couldn’t have cared less and I was yassssssing for my life at the front.
Also at like basically any party I will almost always, without fail, get on the stage and start doing a drag show. She can’t be stopped.
One time, we were at a Gucci party and there was a room with a grand piano in it and a woman was kind of tinkling on it. The room was so dark and my friend turned to me and said, about three feet away from this woman, “She looks like Lindsay Lohan.” Then a camera flash went off and it was Lindsay Lohan. I yelped.
And the most mortifying of all: one time I thought my friend was standing next to me at a party and I turned to whom I thought was him and said, “This party is so boring” and it was fucking Kate. Moss. I. was. Gagged.
Featured image by Louie Banks. All other images provided by Jacob Mallinson Bird.