NYC To Start Labeling Too-Salty Food: 5 Other Labels That Should Exist
Tomorrow, thanks to a ruling from New York City’s Board of Health, menu items at chain restaurants will now have little warning signs next to them if they have over 2,300 milligrams (about a teaspoon) of sodium. No one is outraged or anything, as it’s generally better to know more about what you’re putting into your body than less. And it’s not as if we will suddenly be salt-shamed at every turn, as only about 10 percent of the food in NYC chains will have to bear this scary emblem. If anything, people are just a little confused—the claims of adverse effects of salt on your health haven’t been completely substantiated, and salt is, all things considered, really not the worst thing we could be putting in our bodies.
But maybe the NYC Board of Health just likes to label things! It’s kind of fun, actually. We tried it ourselves, and we have some suggestions.
1. Not salty enough
What’s just as bad as something being too salty? Something being as bland and dry as a cornfield on a Tuesday. Biting into something and realizing that the first ingredients are cardboard and sawdust is one of the rudest of all awakenings. Especially when you’re on the go, and don’t happen to carry travel-sized hot sauce bottles or salt and pepper shakers.
2. Too expensive
This label will be most commonly seen at juice bars and aggressively organic eateries. While there is nothing wrong with paying a little extra for high-quality and sustainably-sourced foods, we often don’t know where to draw the line. This label will hopefully give consumers the wake-up call they need when they’re about to spend $15 on a piece of toast.
3. Bad for dogs
Never again will you have to consult the Internet to find out whether or not you can feed your dog grapes or bacon cheeseburgers. For some reason, people really like knowing what human foods dogs can or cannot eat. We don’t know why you can’t just feed plain dog food to your spoiled pet, but hey, it’s a free country. This label is also perfect for people who want to get their dogs sick, so they have an excuse to stay home from work (we do not condone this).
4. Too douchey
To be honest, this will almost exclusively be applied to the items on this restaurant’s 45-page artisanal water menu. But this label will serve a dual purpose—not only can it save you the dirty looks and eye-rolls you’d receive from your peers, but it can also inform you if the food you’ve purchased is douchey enough to post on Instagram.
5. Made with sadness
We’ve all had bad days, but miserable moods inevitably translate to miserable foods. Yes, just as something “made with love” is magically delightful and delicious, something made with sadness can just as inexplicably taste bitter and wrong. It can ruin your whole day, a sad meal. And as a consumer, you have the right to know what you’re getting yourself into.
Images via the New York City Department of Health and Thrillist