It can be your hero, baby. You can drink away the pain. Publicly.



The 5 Essential Places to Celebrate the End of Manhattan's Public Drinking Ban

To help celebrate how lit our “winter” was, Manhattan is throwing their handles in the air and waving them like they just don’t care. Manhattan district attorney Cyrus R. Vance Jr. has teamed up with the Police Department to sip on that gin and juice, as part of a new policy shift aimed at helping reduce a backlog of cases in the Criminal Court. Alongside the relaxed public drinking laws, you’ll also be free to pee in public and move between subway cars without fear of arrest. Before you run off to North Korea to get some of that hangover-free alcohol, you should know that if you’re deemed a threat to public safety, you can still be given a court summons or given a fine. Still, that’s better than an afterparty in a prison cell. To celebrate our newfound freedom to be alcoholics in public, we’ve paired five adult beverages with the most essential public spots for turning up this spring.

Browsing books outside of The Strand with a cocktail

What’s better than pretending to be interested in that battered copy of The Complete History of Garlic Bread that you found outside of The Strand for three dollars (a steal)? Doing all of that while balancing a cocktail you mixed perfectly in your bag and climbing the steps of Union Square. It may not have the same elegance as your favorite Parisian fantasy, but there is something romantic about getting drunk while discovering five copies of Sarah Palin’s biography on sale for the price of a slice of pizza.

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Nothing says classy like free-flowing liquor and a bad book or two.

Plowing through tourists on The High Line while holding a Prosecco

The only reason we know hell isn’t really under in the fiery bowels of the Earth is because we’ve survived a summer afternoon on The High Line. Hundreds of confused families and an obstacle course of selfie sticks may have defeated us in the past, but with a Prosecco in hand, we’re ready to full Snowpiercer on anyone who dares cross our path—all without spilling a drop.

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One drink just isn’t enough when you’re walking through The High Line.

Blacking out on Absinthe to brace for a walk through Penn Station

Speaking of hellish deathtraps, we’ve all wound up in Penn Station at some point. The labyrinth of anxious people staring at train times is bad enough, but trying to get to the C train from the south end of the complex is next to impossible on a good day. That’s why the next trip into the concrete torture chamber fit for a Saw reboot needs to be pregamed with at least ten shots of Absinthe. If you’re not made of 70% alcohol and blacking out by the time you walk down those steps, you’re doing it wrong.

It takes a special kind of hero to get through the bowels of Penn Station.

Drinking last night’s leftover Four Loko under the Washington Square Arch

If you’re going to end up in the epicenter of college douche bro central, you’d better be on the verge of alcohol poisoning while you clutch the Four Loko you regret buying last night (is the real kind still out there?). The upside to finding yourself under Washington Square Park’s famous arch is that you can probably buy weed without getting up, and there’ll be at least one person reciting poetry while strumming “Wonderwall” on an acoustic guitar. It’ll be like your very own Woodstock!

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We’ve got a list of poems on tear-stained paper ready and waiting.

Cradling a bottle of wine and crying Central Park’s North Woods

Okay, so we’ve been doing this for years, but at least now it’s legal. Skip the overcrowded lower section of the park and set up an encampment in the North Woods for the romantic date between you and a bottle of wine that you’ve been waiting months for. For extra comfort, we’d recommend a blanket and a mason jar to collect your tears. Only leave once the jar is filled and you’ve lost all remaining control over your life.

It's going to be in the 60s next week, so expect to find us surrounded by bottles somewhere in the park.
It’s going to be in the 60s next week, so expect to find us surrounded by bottles somewhere in the park.

Original imagery by Kathryn Chadason. Additional imagery via Giphy. 

Stay tuned to Milk for more excuses to drink.

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