It's sort of like a dog cone collar, but for humans...messy humans.



The Beauty Product That Saved Me From Ramen Trauma

Eating ramen is so hard. There’s no way around it. The broth sputtering into my face (third degree burns on my scalp? Too many times to count), the noodles flying into my hair like some windblown mop dog (the waiters would often bark at me, which wreaked havoc on my self-esteem). Not to mention all the times I emerged from a ramen restaurant with my hair all drenched in broth.

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On many a night, riding the subway home alone, my hair crusted in ramen and smelling like a chicken coup, I often hid underneath the subway seats in humiliation. What has become of me? I often thought to myself, as I peeled another noodle from my hair. I poured a trashcan of water on my head and then went to bed.

If there was one thing I knew for sure it was this: I had to quit ramen cold turkey or find another way to sit with it. Cue the Susen Safe Shampoo Shower Bathing Cap for Babies—or, as I like to call it, Ramen Trapper Grabber 300 in baby blue—which I recently ordered from Amazon after going around in circles googling “ramen hurts my face.”

This is the face of unadulterated joy.

When it finally arrived in the mail, I glued it to my head and smiled in the mirror; I was so happy I could have screamed so loud! I looked so pretty, just like a morning glory. I scrubbed my hair for hours, and then decided to take my new gadget for a spin at my neighborhood spot, Suzume.

I think these images speak for themselves. I’ve never been happier eating ramen. Whereas once the noodles caked to my hair, now they simply dance hither and thither on my guard. Same for the broth, which also splattered all over my trapper, but I didn’t care—I laughed with such gusto and relief. In fact, I’m quite certain that almost all of the ramen got on my trapper grabber and not in my mouth, but I think I am okay with that.

I smell a new trend in the works. Or is that just the smell of ramen wafting through my nostrils? Hard to tell.

The most important part of the story is that my hair did not take a beating. The waiters still barked at me because they thought I was wearing some sort of dog collar, but that didn’t stop me from having the time of my life. My hair did not get singed off by the broth in the process and I didn’t lose any of it in the ramen bowl either. I threw my Viviscal in the trash and I’m back to using expensive things, like Oribe Magnificent Volume Shampoo and Conditioner. And on my ramen-y lips? MAC‘s Crème D’Nude.

Stay tuned to Milk for more beauty victories. 

Images by Issy Magowan.

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