What If Will Smith Was President?
It’s hard to find something A-listers love more than running for president, or saying that they are. Kanye West shocked the world when he announced his presidential candidacy in August, Lindsay Lohan confused her followers by posting an Instagram tagged #lindsaylohan2020, and the American people continue to be morbidly fascinated by Donald Trump’s success in the polls. Now, Will Smith is throwing his hat into the ring, and maybe for real.
Back in November, Smith admitted in an interview with The Hollywood Reporter his possible campaign for political office. “As I look at the political landscape, I think that there might be a future out there for me,” he said. “They might need me out there. This is the first year that I’ve been incensed to a level that I can’t sleep, you know?” And, in an interview with CBS this Sunday, Smith confirmed that if he were to run, it would definitely be for president.
This is a tantalizing notion, but many questions arise—Would Smith technically be the President, or the Fresh Prince of the United States? What party would he run under? Would the academy feel pressured to give him more awards in the name of patriotism?
Probably the most burning question of all, however, is of what this country would be like if Will Smith really did take office. We have a few predictions.
DJ Jazzy Jeff will be the VP.
The Fresh Prince having just announced his candidacy, it takes little guesswork to determine who his running mate will be. If our current VP is any indication, Mr. Jazzy Jeff will have no problem warming up to the position. Many parallels can indeed be drawn between Joe Biden and DJ Jazzy Jeff’s character on Fresh Prince—his presence isn’t really crucial to the operation, but you can always rely on him for an awkward, slightly inappropriate comment every now and then.
New federal agencies
The establishment of two new government agencies, the Department of Time Control and the Department of Vague and Cryptic Tweets, will be Smith’s primary concern during his first week in office. These bureaus’ predominant concerns will be to oversee the social media sphere and ease the nation’s transition into a post-millennial world. As department heads, he will appoint none other than his children, whose already massive entourages will more than triple in size once secret service agents are assigned.
All laws will be surprise-released
In taking a page out of his daughter’s book, Smith will issue executive orders overnight, lots of them, without any prior announcement. Indeed, the public is generally more likely to be in favor of something released mysteriously, and even to celebrate it for its lack of pretension and indie credibility.
The military will be beefed up to ward off aliens
If Smith has learned anything from his roles in Independence Day and Men in Black, it’s that our nation, as it stands now, is woefully under-prepared for an intergalactic invasion. Smith might be the only candidate that understands the full gravity of this situation, and plans to dramatically increase funding for NASA, as well as the crazies in Roswell and the dark corners of the internet.
Probably the most divisive of Smith’s proposed policies, a wall to be erected along our nations borders in preemption of an I Am Legend-style zombie apocalypse. Opponents of this proposal argue that I Am Legend was just a movie, and zombies are not trying to take our jobs or eat our brains. In response, Smith points to the current lineup of GOP candidates. “See?” he says. “It’s already happening.”
Images via Complex, the Nerd Dash, Collider