What to Watch on Netflix During June's Jurassic Heatwave
The weather keeps getting warmer, and you know what that means. It’s time to hide in your cave, shrouded in darkness, and leech Netflix off of your neighbor’s shoddy Wi-Fi connection. Who needs the natural sun when you can stock up on multivitamins and maximize your screen time? According to a recent piece from Business Insider, Netflix watchers spend more time binge watching than they do socializing, exercising, and reading—combined.
But, if we’re going to hopelessly devote ourselves to Netflix, why waste valuable screen time buffering up our queue? In addition to Best Picture winner Spotlight, the June batch of arrivals have plenty to keep us as warm as our monitors, with hot and heavy breathing from Jurassic Park‘s dinosaurs and A Walk to Remember‘s Mandy Moore. Read on to see the best of the bunch.
The Jurassic Park Trilogy Doesn’t Let Science Get in the Way of Fun
So what if velociraptors are actually relatively harmless and the size of game chickens? Neither scientific consensus nor doors are gonna get in the way of the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park. Plus, if you trudge your way through the original trilogy, you’ll be fully prepared for the HD upgrade featuring Chris Pratt in Jurassic World. And isn’t that a goal worth striving towards?
Mandy Moore Sings Away the Tears in A Walk to Remember
It’s the movie where a young Mandy Moore told the constantly scowling Shane West, “You have to promise you won’t fall in love with me.” It’s the movie that Roger Ebert called “a small treasure.” It’s the movie for which half of your friends know the lyrics to the soundtrack by heart, even if they’ve buried it under years of denial and middle-aged cynicism. So please, rip open a bag of cookie dough, sink into your neck pillow, and let Mandy whisk you away to a land of clichés and Christian family values.
Cancel Your Psychiatrist Appointment, Bob Ross Is Coming to Netflix
Before ASMR videos made brain massages a full blown phenomenon, Bob Ross was sedating a whole generation. Now, Bob Ross: Beauty Is Everywhere is headed for streaming, meaning a whole new generation can learn how to approach pastoral paintings with the concentration of a Buddhist monk. Ross, the soft-spoken maestro, will lobotomize our stress centers with the scritch-scratch of the canvas and an idyllic description of “happy trees.” If trees can be happy, surely so can we.
Schwartzman Carries 7 Chinese Brothers Through It’s Quirky Turns
As noted in Milk’s interview last year, Jason Schwartzman’s acting is such that it rarely feels like he’s acting. Even as the supervillain Gideon in Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, Schwartzman is able to find a human element that’s almost instantly identifiable. Charm is a good trait to have when you’re working your way through Hollywood, and Schwartzman exercises it plenty in 7 Chinese Brothers. The movie was compared to Wes Anderson‘s filmography when it was released last year. See how it measures up on Netflix starting tomorrow.
Meadowland Is A Case Study in Human Suffering
Alright, keep this one in your pocket for when you want to depress the whole room, or shoo away that date gone awry. Film is a perfect medium to study depths of suffering—that’s how Lars Von Trier pays his bills. Meadowland takes a horror movie setup, a missing person case, and switches the focus to the family members most immediately affected. It’s a movie that would sink or swim based on the acting chops of leads Olivia Wilde and Luke Wilson. Luckily, or perhaps unfortunately, Wilde and Wilson are more than up to the task. It’s gonna ruin your day, which, for a movie this heavy, is an accomplishment to be proud of.
Images via Buzzfeed.
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