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What’s New on Netflix for the Blind and Confused

At the start of every month, Netflix punches productivity in the face and releases a ton of new movies to stare endlessly at until we go to bed defeated by our options. The choices are almost always a bizarre mix of relevant movies from the past year, classics from the 80s and 90s, and then the kind of film that would’ve been a straight-to-DVD mess in the bottom shelf of your old Hollywood Video. There are websites dedicated to picking a movie for you, and that’s always great when you’re trying to pick the best film to Netflix and chill with. But sometimes, it’s more thrilling to go in without a care in the world or a category on your mind.

To help ease your anxiety over what to watch while you lie comatose in bed with leftover takeout, I went in blind and picked five films that dropped in the past month that I’ve never seen before. With only the title and movie poster to guide me, I created five synopses for films you absolutely have to watch—if only to see how horribly wrong I was about their plotline. Click through the slideshow to read the plotline for your new favorite movie.

Stay tuned to Milk for more of What’s New on Netflix.

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