YOLO: Woman Eats $9,000 in Cash as Revenge
To those seeking vengeance, take notes. Sandra Milena Almeida, a 30-year-old woman from Colombia, took sweet revenge on her lying, cheating husband by eating their savings. After being taken to the hospital for abdominal pains (and probably heartbreak), the spiteful wife was found to have had $9,000 worth of cash money throughout her intestines, some wads even reaching her colon. Ouch. A huge surprise to the doctors, but not quite to Almeida, the sum was found in rolls of hundred-dollar notes. Most looking to spite an unfaithful partner would look to petty means, but Mrs. Almeida looked to petty cash. The couple had been sharing the thousands of dollars worth of savings prior, but Mrs. Almeida took it upon herself to hide the dolla dolla bills when she caught her unfaithful spouse red-handed in adultery.Like a thrilling Spanish soap-opera, the drama doesn’t stop there—Almeida’s husband found her secret stacks and demanded they split the means evenly. The salty spouse, in great disagreement and even greater rage, took to an even better hiding spot, possibly nature’s best, her stomach. Juan Paulo Serrano, the Director of Surgery at University Hospital of Santander, states that over fifty large sum bills were extracted through an orifice the surgeons had cut open in Almeida’s abdomen, but she is expected to make full recovery. Bearing more bittersweet news, Serrano also claims that “the dollar notes were washed and are in good condition, but the rest of the money was lost because of the gastric fluids.” No worries though, the vengeful wife has disclosed that she’s now saving up for a luxurious getaway to, well, get the fuck away. Finally, our girl Sandra Almeida has come to the realization that spending the thousands makes a little more sense than ingesting them—concept was cool, execution a little off.
Images via Hexjam, BBC
Stay tuned to Milk for more alternative methods of revenge.