Don't even think about it.



Your Guide to Not Being an Asshole This Halloween

With Halloween coming up this weekend, a buzz is in the air. Everyone’s small talk is centered around the spectacular holiday, with seemingly everyone asking, “So, what are you being for Halloween?” At this point you either have an answer, or you’re going to buy fake blood and fangs and just be a vampire. However, in light of the fall fun activities to come, we thought we’d remind some of you to just not be a dick on Halloween.

Don’t steal candy from Trick or Treaters.

This feels like a no-brainer, but every year there’s one 20-something dude with a Guy Fawkes mask or Freddy Krueger glove that decides to empty out the “please take one” bowls left outside. If you’re thinking of doing that, you’re an asshole. Spend the $3.49 on a variety bag, and leave the magic alone!

What you're basically saying when you steal candy
What you’re basically saying to children when you steal candy

Don’t dress up “as” a trans person.

Needless to say, we were all pretty grossed out by the Caitlyn Jenner costume. Now it seems Amazon allowed a “lady boy” costume onto its site, so let’s reiterate the point: if you’re a cis person, don’t try to dress as a trans person. You’re not “edgy” or funny. You’re just a dick that thinks trans people are a joke, not an identity. Jerk.

200 (4)
The Queen doesn’t have time for your transphobic BS.

Don’t slut-shame people you see dressed up.

Halloween brings about a slew of cat costumes, Playboy bunny costumes, and literally any other “sexy version” of a costume you can image – and we love it. If any hotties want to show their bodies, we say yes please! If you see someone out that night that you feel like should be wearing more, fill your mouth with candy to keep from commenting. No one wants to hang with a slut-shamer on Halloween.

No caption required
No caption required

Don’t dress up “as” any ethnic group.

Bottom line: it’s racist as hell. People of any group are so incredibly diverse that to generalize with stereotypes is just plain lazy. It’s also the literal definition of cultural appropriation. No, you can’t use blackface, brownface, yellowface, or redface! How do we have to clarify this in 2015? Just don’t do it, or you’ll end up on a Jezebel article the day after — and more importantly, you’ll prove definitively that you’re a racist prick.

More like: "Why are you white and wearing back face?"
More like: “Why are you white and wearing blackface?”

Please for the love of all that is costumed and full of sugar, don’t trick. Just treat.

We get it; pranks come with the territory. That doesn’t stop us of from cursing your name as we pick egg shells out of our hair (that we probably spent ages making perfect for our dopeass costume). Eggs, shaving cream, or any other viscous thing you could throw at someone to destroy their costume is a real shitbrain move. So do us a favor, and reserve the “tricking” for 16-year-olds that had a little too much fun with Mom’s liquor cabinet.

The Pumpkin King is confused as you why you would even try.
The Pumpkin King is confused as you why you would even try.

Stay safe this Halloween and remember – don’t be an asshole! 

Images via TerrorDrome

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