Ariel Barnes

Ariel Barnes is unfortunately from Miami, Florida, where Pitbull basically reigns as mayor. Since moving to New York, she has grown fond of drinking alone in bars and picking her nose at catcallers without breaking eye contact. 

She created Mediocre Advice, and advice column for The Independent Florida Alligator, where she supplied highly questionable advice to college students about love, dating, and sex. She is still surprised at the content the editors let her publish, but that’s freedom of speech, baby. On her own time, she writes stories like I Once Called a Person a Piece of Shit to Their Face and How to Eat a Girl Out on her blog, Damn, Dude.

Fueled by that feeling of constantly forgetting something, the only peace she finds in life is watching Mulder and Scully’s rare moments of romance on The X-Files

Ariel's Stories


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